ive been told that the whiffer is too clean, too family friendly. while i will agree that things are squeeky clean around here, i do suggest you come in for a closer whiff. you might just find that theres a faint hint of bleach… as though something darker may have been cleaned up. if you look just right you just might find it.
sorry for the illusion. i just watched an marathon of csi.
Tag Archive for 'family'
i just saw on the news that an airzona woman unknowingly gave birth to a child while sitting on the toilet. apparently, the woman had no idea she was pregnant until she heard crying from below. sounds crazy? well thats not the half of if.
they decided to name the newborn after the family psychic.
i guess that would make sence if the psychics name was ‘woops’, ‘captain obvious’ or ‘its just a tummy ache’.
i would like to introduce into the scientific community a groundbreaking new discovery. i like to call it:
Erik’s Law of Prime Sneezing
it has been with much study and documentation that i have recognized sneezing manifests itself in primes. granted, one may sneeze in non-primes. however, if this condition persists i recommend seeking medical attention immediately. with appropriate treatment one can return to their natural ELPS state.
ELPS is considered a natural reaction to allergens, light and other stimuli. one should be aware of ELPS at and above 11 after which snoughs may begin to materialize.
there are distinct characteristics for each of the first 5 stages of ELPS:
- ELPS 1 - this early manifestation is normally a sign of good things to come. some are unfortunate enough to be left here only to wonder how good the next level might have been.
- ELPS 2 - celebrate with us together are we rest briefly on the only even number lucky enough to be part of the ELPS family. if your ELPS stop here consider yourself average.
- ELPS 3 - here we are at what we here at the whiffer like to call ‘the trinity‘. level 3 is considered the most common display of ELPS.
- ELPS 5 - arriving at ELPS 5 is somewhat of a milestone. give yourself a pat on the back… that is if your not busy sneezing. 5 is the first level one reaches after skipping 4 altogether. pass Go, collect $200 my friend.
- ELPS 7 - i want to party with you!
i want to assure you that i will not stop in my efforts to refine ELPS and its documentation. if you have questions, comments or testimonies please leave there here. it may take me a while to respond as i will be busy snorting pepper, looking into the sun & taking allergy tests.
